1. Kids will eat anything (dirt, baby wipes, watch batteries, the tips of matches, pepto-bismol, anything out of a box, cat food, grass) but they will not eat anything that takes longer than 15 min to make, that has little green things in them (usually that's fresh basil or some other spice), or potatoes. Also just a note of caution if you make an ice cream cake and even hide it in the freezer outside half of it will be eaten by the next day…I have yet to figure out how to prevent this.
2. Boys will not cry if they think they will get in trouble for it. An example from my son Max who took a pocketknife and decided to cut the weeds in the backyard with it and promptly stabbed himself in the leg…he knew he wasn't supposed to be using it so he came in the house and cleaned himself off. Bandaged himself and sat on the couch and read a book. I found out cuz he was walking funny and I called him on it.
Boys will cry if they think it will get someone else in trouble. Same son who is crying hysterically cuz his older brother wrestled him to the ground and sat on him because he thought Max took something of his….go figure that one out…cuz I'm thinking being sat on didn't hurt half as bad as stabbing himself in the leg.
Girls cry all the time. Because she is the baby of the family and is sure that the brothers will get in trouble for whatever it is that is distressing her.
3. Kids have extremely strange sleeping habits. They won't go to sleep when they are supposed to…at night. They do fall asleep on the 5 minute trip to the store and then are cranky when you have to wake them up. And they can fall asleep anywhere and in any position. (on the wood floor, folded in half, with half their body off the bed, curled up in a ball between the wall and the vacuum cleaner, on the stairs, strapped into a car seat, on the toilet, etc…)
4. As early as age 3 boys come to two of the most profound realizations of their life. Profound because I have heard men over 50 bragging about this ability as if it was acquired from extreme hard work and dedication instead of just being a blessing of anatomy. Realization 1: Boys can pee standing up. Realization 2: (this being the profound one) I can now pee anywhere I want. To which they promptly go experimenting with this by peeing in interesting places (the heating vents, on their sister) until they find the coolest place of all…OUTSIDE…. "Hey anyone here in this family know why I can't get any flowers to grow in this spot here right by the front door." No one knows till I find all of them outside in the front yard peeing away into my flowers. I have noticed that this continues to be the favorite place of all adult males.
5. Boys hate to shop. Lets see how many clothes racks we can destroy in 5 minutes so Mom will end this dreaded excursion so we can go home and play Guitar Hero. This is not necessarily something I learned just an affirmation of long held belief, but Girls love to shop. My daughter Mira at age 2 hugging all the clothes we go by saying "I love you! I love you!" and who has the girlfriend shopping speak down by age 3 "oh that is beautiful…you look pretty in that….no not that one it's not as nice….."
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