Musings about NYC because we are stuck at home in Philadelphia during Coronapocalypse
It's been 8 years since I last wrote something here. I came across this blog accidentally, I had forgotten I had written it, I clicked on something while looking for something else so I don't know if I could even find this again. I no longer blog...it was a very Mormon Utah thing and I am no longer Mormon nor do I live in Utah so I don't blog--or journal, I don't have time, but after reading these to the kids it was such a great reminder of some things we have forgotten.
I'm grateful to have moved on and grown since writing these--I no longer care about low hanging pants, I see noisy teenagers all the time without feeling the need to lump them into racist categories, I'm definitely a feminist, I'm still a mom and my kids are a bit older, I have faith in the goodness of people and not a lot of faith in our current government and I'm no longer religious. That said I'm a bit sad I didn't continue with these, there are so many things that I have forgotten.
We have since moved from NYC, something I didn't think I would ever do, NYC will always be home to me, but I couldn't pass up the job opportunity and the chance to work in a museum after spending three years working for NBC News. We miss NYC terribly, there really is no where else like it in the world.
At the moment I see images of an empty Times Square which makes me want to cry. I've never seen NYC empty, without people, without cabs, without the soul. I miss the hectic nature, I miss being able to say I live in the center of the universe--I can't watch SVU and say I live there--but I finally get all the "inside references".
Reading past posts the one that really got to me was about the gay man who lost his partner the day he proposed. Everyday I lived in NYC I crossed paths with millions of humans and for a millisecond or a few minutes I actually because part of their lives and they became part of mine. If coronavirus has me thinking about anything it is that connection with other humans that I miss the most. I currently live a minute walk from work--so different than the 3 hours I spent with humanity every day to and from the various places that I spent my life...the Brooklyn Academy of Music Archives, NYUniversity KARMS, Pratt, Rockefeller Center... I no longer brush with humanity on the same level, but I interacted with the wonderful people I work with at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, I found a comic store Brave New Worlds to go to every couple of weeks, a new theater to patronize, the library....little by little expanding my access to the rush of humanity in Philly...and now all of that has been reduced to my little apartment, my family, video chats with friends, online events and it's difficult.
No one reads this but me...sure it's public but that's ok the kids wanted me to add a few things they remember to add to the list of stories, so I'm doing that. Just some other things I thought of after reading the other posts--Josh and Max graduated from the oldest high school in Staten Island Curtis HS, Harrison graduated from Art & Design HS in Manhattan and Mira went to Freshman and Sophmore year there. They both traveled three hours to school in the morning and 3 hours home every school day, Mira and Caleb went to a private elementary and middle school, because the school where Max had all the girls crushing on him was labeled as perpetually dangerous, so I pulled him out after about 2 months. Josh went to a military college The Citadel and is in the army, Max graduated from SUNY Oswego.
Tea and Sympathy is still my favorite restaurant, I got over loving seeing the statue of liberty everyday, because the tourists were just too much for me. I hung out on the non touristy side (brooklyn) or on the bottom of the boat. Best place on the boat is in the back at night traveling from Manhattan to Staten Island...hands down. I never got tired of being in the city, I loved to hang out there after work, take in a show or a movie, see friends, get some drinks, go to a concert. The commute was starting to get a little thin by the time we moved but that was the only thing. I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford to live in NYC ever again, but if I can I will. For now though I'm learning to love Philly. We've (everyone but Josh) only been here 10 months, give us another year or so to find our footing.
1. Mira and Caleb in elementary school and they are in the back of the bus (S74) going home from P.S. 57. They can hear yelling outside the bus. They look out and two men are fighting outside at the bus stop. One man throws the other man through the glass enclosure for the stop. Then he gets pulled up by the other guy and shoved against the bus and in the course of this they eventually rolled under the bus. In typical NYC nonplussed fashion the bus driver over the intercom says, "Would you please get out from underneath the bus?!" Meanwhile Mira and Caleb are just worried they are going to come on the bus, but nope, they just got out from under and stood there while the bus went on it's way.
2. Mira and Caleb again in their favorite spot in the back of bus. Mira is all decked out in plastic rings and bracelets from a school party. There is a group of teenage boys in front of them.
Boy 1: You should go talk to her...
Boy 2: No way man she's like 13!!
Mira looks up and the boys scream and run away to the front of the bus.
3. Mira and I are going to the ballet and we are on the bus to the ferry. At a stop we watch a man and woman get on the bus. The man pays, walks to the back of the bus and immediately gets off. The woman does not notice this as she is rummaging in her purse for her metrocard. She pays and then walks back looking for who we now know is her husband. She freaks out at the bus driver about how her husband who has mental health problems has just been left outside and she needs to get off. He refuses and won't let her leave until the next stop...which seems crazy to me even to this day. Most bus drivers were tough as nails and pretty compassionate. But there's always a couple....like the one who kept yelling at a deaf woman because she wouldn't put her phone away...I don't know why this irritated him so much.
4. Harrison experiences on the subway were classic. a.) The guy who pulled the breaks on the train while yelling "This train is going no where!" b.)Falling asleep on the 1 train and winding up in the bronx. c.) Evil laughing in the ear of the man in front of him exiting the subway which freaked the dude out so much he punched Harrison in the stomach d.) Guy begging for money because he was single and ready to mingle, but only with the ladies. e.) Harrison had his wallet stolen...how do we know this because he found it in the hood of his jacket with a note that said "Get a job dude you have no money." e.) not a subway thing but the women running after Harrison yelling "Ethan Hawke, he does look like Ethan Hawke!" at his graduation ceremony--we did actually meet Ethan Hawke twice and he did admit Harrison looks a lot like him!! Yes!! NOTE: The other cool celebrity encounter was with Alan Rickman (near Poet's House)--I didn't say anything to him he looked like every New Yorker does in the morning...like it's too cold to talk to anyone until I get my coffee.
5. Friendly train conductors who give tourist information and joy everyday--"Welcome to the choo choo train..."
6. Snarky train conductors who are just over people holding the doors
7. The two crimes we were ever a witness to in the whole nine years in NYC a.) While Max was waiting for the bus on the way to school a man tried to rob another man waiting and shot a gun off in the ground. Instead of coming home Max just continued on to school and just spent the day freaked out. b.) Upon exiting a bus on the way home from a dance performance, a girl asked to call her mom using my phone and while I was holding my phone telling her to give me the number and I'd call...she grabbed it out of my hands, so I chased her down the street (thank god she ran DOWN the street and not UP the massive hill) and into a pizzeria where she locked herself in the bathroom. She finally gave me the phone back after I and the rest of the staff threatened to call the police unless she came out and gave it to me...oh yeah it was Mother's Day.
8. The time Max left his phone on the bus and called me from the home phone to let me know. I happened to be in a cab at the time and passing the bus depot so I hopped out. The bus dispatch called the bus driver of the bus and he stopped and looked for it. They couldn't find it on the bus. At the same time Garry was tracking it on his phone, because the phone hadn't been turned off. So he told me where it was, the bus depot helped me figure out what bus route it was and where it was going and directed me to the closest stop that would put me in front of the bus. I actually hopped on the bus and sat down in the back where the phone should be and started looking for it. While I was looking for it the location signal went off so we thought maybe the guy in front of me had it. So I started talking somewhat loud about how I really had faith in the kindness of strangers and that I really hoped that who ever had the phone would return it because as a single parent I really needed it to make sure my kids were safe....at that point the man in front of me turned around and said "Hey, I just found this phone here....is it yours?" It was Max's and I told the man how grateful I was that he found it and that it was there and what a relief it was that he found it.
9. The time I was on the ferry and a guy from the Dominican Republic (he told me this) proceeded to follow me from the ferry and onto the train I was taking to the Grolier Club while yelling at me the WHOLE way variations of the following phrases..."Will you go out with me if I give you $20?--while waving a $20 bill in my face. How about a car...I have a car just sitting around I'll give it to you...I'll love you like a tiger....Do you want money...I have money...I'll take care of you real good..." This was the first time I've had a man follow me, this would be first of two times where this happened me. So I usually felt really safe in NYC...this was not one of those times. No one on the train or the ferry did anything to help...New Yorkers are really good at ignoring stuff...but I was intensely uncomfortable and had no idea if this man was going to follow me from the train...I had no idea what to do. For context the ferry trip is 30 min and the train trip for me was 25min before he finally left. For almost an hour I had to deal with this guy and had no idea how my evening was going to end. The only reply he got from me the whole time was No I don't want that. No. He finally got tired of these answers and left before my stop. I was never so relieved in my life. The second time this happened to me the dude tried following me home from a blind date. I basically stopped near a police officer in the ferry terminal and told him I didn't need him to keep me safe I was fine and he finally left me alone. The last time this happened to me I told the guy to "F*%k off!" right at the beginning and he did. I don't know if you can tell the pattern here, but the first one happened to me the first year I was in NYC, the second one about 5 years later and last one happened last year. NYC has been the best thing that happened to me, I am so much stronger and confident than I was...oh and men are weird.
10. Oh and then there's Charlie--my landlord--so many stories about Charlie a) the time 5+ firemen showed up at my door to tell me the downstairs people had a small issue and they just wanted to let me know the person next door was stealing my electricity and showed me the wire--yeah that was Charlie using the electricity from the house I was renting in to power the house he was renovating next door....I didn't tell firemen that, just thanked them for the info. b.)he refused to put a new roof on the back section of the apartment. So a raccoon or something dug through the roof. He decided the best way to fix that was to screw a huge metal plate into my ceiling with some information about his presidential run written in permanent ink and then use 20 screws to attach it. You know cuz the critters won't like walking on them so it will deter them from coming in...NEWS FLASH: it did not! When we moved we figured out they dug through the closet in the bathroom and really did die behind the shower. UGH c.) he thought the metal plates on the sidewalks were secret radio waves for listening in on conversations d.) that he was going to chain down the house when the magnetic poles shifted so the house didn't float away e) he was crazy but he was also one of sweetest people I know, he always tried to find jobs for homeless men and women, he did care for the people he rented to.
11. The man who was carrying his daughter in his arms off the train and the train doors closed on her dress. The conductor kept yelling at him to move away from the door so she could leave the station (he was at the very end so she couldn't see or hear him) and she was getting angrier and angrier until I went up to her an told her what was going on. She finally opened the door. That poor father probably almost had a heart attack thinking she was going to just take off.
12. I was always asked directions by tourists usually in places I was going for the first time too, or just didn't travel on routinely. I always felt really bad when that happened and worried that I'd give poor directions. Right before I stopped working at NBC I got on the train at Whitehall and there was a group of tourists from Italy, they asked me if I knew how to get to the place where the giant Christmas tree was. It was the first time I've been asked to give directions on where something was that I went to every day. I told them to stay with me, that it was were I worked and I could get them there using the tunnels under the buildings. We had a pretty good conversation about what they did in Italy and what I do even though I didn't speak Italian and they didn't speak English. There was a little Spanish thrown in which helped. They trusted me and I was able to get them there safely while avoiding some of the midtown people crush up above. I also wish I could remember where they were from it sounded amazing...somewhere in the middle coastline on the sea....I think it might be Pescara because I remember thinking of fish when they talked about it.
13. Working at NBC I had hoped that I would see some famous people...I did not...at least not as much as I thought I would. I literally ran into Leslie Jones, walked past John Mulaney, shared an elevator with Jimmy Fallon, and had Seth Meyers open a door for me and Caleb on a bring your kid to work day. That was it...no run ins with U2 or the Avengers, Tina Fey or Kate McKinnon...which is a bummer, but that's ok. Oh and one more. I was sitting in a cubicle across from a huge windowed office that was used as a costume closet and changing area for the Maya and Marty show. The producer had an assistant Ara and I called her Jingle Boots...because she wore the same jingly boots everyday... One time I was there one of the cast (it was a bunch of really old people...some reunion skit)....asked me if I knew what the "Cloud" was...it was the first time I've felt like a reference librarian in a long time...and then Martin Short walked past and asked if he could borrow a kleenex...to which I responded...well, I don't really want it back so you can keep it...to which he chuckled.
14. My interview with NBC was an interesting one. Steve T. who has been a Today Show producer for decades came down to guest services to bring me up to the offices where the interviews were going to take place. On the way he got a notification...a school shooting had happened in Oregon or Washington (I don't remember) and he had to go cover that immediately. I totally understood so he walked me up to the interview room, which was weirdly on an empty floor (10 west) and left me in the room to wait for my next interview 35 minutes later. Steve is another of the nicest people I've met. He took my aunt and uncle and myself on a personal tour of the Today Show when they came to visit and he was always supportive of our projects and myself.
15. The other most interesting group of people I have ever met have been the archivist team at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. Louie, Sharon, Anita, Mary, and Jan. We used to all eat lunch together and the stories...omg the stories from everyone. They have all lived here for most of their lives and had the best stories. I won't write them here as they aren't mine to tell. But BAM was one of my most favorite places to work. Other people I miss from NYC. Maggie who lived down the street from me. She's a librarian, I met her at a library club meeting, and she is the absolute nicest person I know, she is like a sister to me. The first time we met she found out where I lived so we went home together. We didn't meet again for another year when I wandered into a church in the neighborhood and she was there. We've been close ever since and she became Harrison's god mother (this was before I gave up religion altogether.) Sami the cab driver I had consistently while in Staten Island. He'd give me falafal his wife made. The coffee cart dude outside of Art and Design who made sure Mira had food in the morning, Cristina my mentor and colleague from Pratt, running into Eric who is the comics librarian at SVA and fellow Pratt graduate who lives in Staten Island, I would randomly run into him at the ferry, on 14th street, at BAM, and other places around Manhattan all the time. I do NOT miss the opera lady who would sing at the ferry late at night, midtown, the pigeons in the ferry terminal and the tiny boats...those were the worst!!, the guys with coolers asking for money and smiles, mariachi bands are exactly as John Mulaney describes it, in fact the way he describes NYC is spot on.
