Conversations not to be had in polite company

Caleb is a bit curious and maybe I should come up with better answers to his questions, since this one sort of bit me in the butt.  He's 4 how else am I supposed to explain it.  Caleb walked in on me while I was putting on my bra and he asked, "What's that for?" So I just answered, "It's for boobs."  Fast forward a couple of weeks....

You know the scene in Wall-E where he's looking through the garbage for stuff for his collection.  You know the part...the one where he grabs the bra and puts it on his "eyes."  Haha cute. :)  Ok well in front of Walter and Walter's very Mormon staid family Caleb walks up to the screen points to the bra and says, "That's for boobs!"  and then sits down, the picture of innocence.   What? Why is everyone so shocked??  Why are you laughing?  :P

Pick up line

I took the kids to Perkins for dinner last week.  We had the best waitress EVER!!  Which reminds me I need to call that Perkins and tell them to promote her or give her a raise.  Anyway....she was super nice and was chatting with Caleb about what color balloon he wanted...Caleb finally picked green and then promptly said "Can I have your phone number?"  hehe...ladies man!!

melodramatic drama queen

Where does she get it from?  Who knows, I'm pretty sure it's not me!  I'm totally serious I've never been like this.  This is a conversation she had with Walter...she played him like a fiddle.

"Oh daddy! I miss you so much!  I cry everyday!  I just cry and cry and cry.  I love the unicorn you got for me for my birthday, but I would really like to get a pegasus someday!"

WTH!!  Omg how do I fix her before she becomes one of those mean girl cheerleaders?? Heeellllp!!!

She Stands

Anxious
waiting for words
spoken, written, dreamt
She stands her heart in her mouth

Unquiet
thoughts in constant
race, jumble, confusion
She stands with butterflies in her chest

Troubled
bruised at heart
missing, lost, gone
She stands unable to be blithe in her soul

Masquerade

I think it's pretty easy to tell what this is about.  Depression is an all consuming way of living, I was only able to drag myself out of it through a shining thread of hope.  This is hommage to that.

I
Hollow ache
empty smile frozen while my mind wanders
fake laugh like a crack in a wall
sitting in the shower letting the water wash away my tears
pretending affection
pretending everything is ok, all that matters is that your happy
lies

II
a shell dry as paper blown away like autumn leaves
do you notice
that my laugh never makes it to my souless eyes
I pretend I'm kissing someone else
I pretend to love the one I'm with
to feel my affection being sucked into a black hole
I could be a spy I know how to pretend
how to be happy for a child
how to have a happy life
happy with my partner


III
happy happy happy 
like it's stretched thin across the surface
a beautiful masquerade mask covering the truth that lies beneath
all outward while my inward shining soul is tucked away
guarded all but forgotten waiting
for the one that draws it to the surface
I hear the laughter of lovers and wonder
will I ever find that joy
or do I remain forever
trapped

IV
a bird caught in a cage that is too small for her body
reaching but fearful
is this all there is
surely they must know
surely they must see I'm not complete
I'm missing pieces some never there to begin with
I listen without hearing
thoughts contained in my head bursting to be free
I see without seeing
looking for visions like a prophet wandering the desert
Lips speaking lies
a canny con artist trying to part me from my money

V
slowly my soul is dying remnants
falling like rain broken
like the nursery rhyme oeuf
needing someone to stop the flood
pick up the fragments make me whole
if I stay i will wither and die
like all the flowers in my winter garden
retrieve me from this hell of lost and found

VI
worship unconditionally
I open my mouth and starlight pours forth
emptying my soul yet filling it reminding me
encouraging me like bright stars in the night
like lady moon guiding
I am worthy of knights and faery kings
worthy to rule
worthy to worship
I shed the darkness like a robe
put on the golden light of love

Again off the beaten path (How Long?)

Seconds between breaths
Minutes between thoughts
Hours between dreams
Days between words
Weeks between glances
Months between vexations
Years between devotions
Decades between lives
Waiting, spinning in endless
Rotations and eddies
Years minutes
Hours weeks
Days months
Decades seconds
How long till
Home?