Ummm...that's not important!

It was either Max or me who did it, we're not really sure, but one of us stepped on his glasses and broke them...right before we left for NYC.  I had the brilliant idea of letting Max use my extra pair of glasses.  They are not gender specific, they aren't pink or anything.  Anyway...here is a conversation Max had with one of his friends at school the next day.  Keep in mind he hates having anyone notice anything new about him...let alone mention it or ask questions about it.

Friend: Hey Max, did you get new glasses?

Max: Not exactly (PS Max is a horrible liar and tends to evade rather than all out lie)

Friend: Did you borrow them from someone?

Max: That is not important!

Friend: Did you borrow them from your Mom!?

Max: Uhhhhh....sorta.

Hehe gotcha!  

Musing on Fire

Caleb at lunch today with our friend Pat :D  We ate at Hose 22, which not only has fantastic fireman decor but fantastic food to go along with it. Yum Yum!!

Caleb: The firemen behind our house washed the fire off the mountain.

hehe they washed the fire...how cute is that?!  Ok maybe I find it unusually cute because he's my son...but still!

Conversations not to be had in polite company

Caleb is a bit curious and maybe I should come up with better answers to his questions, since this one sort of bit me in the butt.  He's 4 how else am I supposed to explain it.  Caleb walked in on me while I was putting on my bra and he asked, "What's that for?" So I just answered, "It's for boobs."  Fast forward a couple of weeks....

You know the scene in Wall-E where he's looking through the garbage for stuff for his collection.  You know the part...the one where he grabs the bra and puts it on his "eyes."  Haha cute. :)  Ok well in front of Walter and Walter's very Mormon staid family Caleb walks up to the screen points to the bra and says, "That's for boobs!"  and then sits down, the picture of innocence.   What? Why is everyone so shocked??  Why are you laughing?  :P

Pick up line

I took the kids to Perkins for dinner last week.  We had the best waitress EVER!!  Which reminds me I need to call that Perkins and tell them to promote her or give her a raise.  Anyway....she was super nice and was chatting with Caleb about what color balloon he wanted...Caleb finally picked green and then promptly said "Can I have your phone number?"  hehe...ladies man!!

melodramatic drama queen

Where does she get it from?  Who knows, I'm pretty sure it's not me!  I'm totally serious I've never been like this.  This is a conversation she had with Walter...she played him like a fiddle.

"Oh daddy! I miss you so much!  I cry everyday!  I just cry and cry and cry.  I love the unicorn you got for me for my birthday, but I would really like to get a pegasus someday!"

WTH!!  Omg how do I fix her before she becomes one of those mean girl cheerleaders?? Heeellllp!!!

She Stands

Anxious
waiting for words
spoken, written, dreamt
She stands her heart in her mouth

Unquiet
thoughts in constant
race, jumble, confusion
She stands with butterflies in her chest

Troubled
bruised at heart
missing, lost, gone
She stands unable to be blithe in her soul

Masquerade

I think it's pretty easy to tell what this is about.  Depression is an all consuming way of living, I was only able to drag myself out of it through a shining thread of hope.  This is hommage to that.

I
Hollow ache
empty smile frozen while my mind wanders
fake laugh like a crack in a wall
sitting in the shower letting the water wash away my tears
pretending affection
pretending everything is ok, all that matters is that your happy
lies

II
a shell dry as paper blown away like autumn leaves
do you notice
that my laugh never makes it to my souless eyes
I pretend I'm kissing someone else
I pretend to love the one I'm with
to feel my affection being sucked into a black hole
I could be a spy I know how to pretend
how to be happy for a child
how to have a happy life
happy with my partner


III
happy happy happy 
like it's stretched thin across the surface
a beautiful masquerade mask covering the truth that lies beneath
all outward while my inward shining soul is tucked away
guarded all but forgotten waiting
for the one that draws it to the surface
I hear the laughter of lovers and wonder
will I ever find that joy
or do I remain forever
trapped

IV
a bird caught in a cage that is too small for her body
reaching but fearful
is this all there is
surely they must know
surely they must see I'm not complete
I'm missing pieces some never there to begin with
I listen without hearing
thoughts contained in my head bursting to be free
I see without seeing
looking for visions like a prophet wandering the desert
Lips speaking lies
a canny con artist trying to part me from my money

V
slowly my soul is dying remnants
falling like rain broken
like the nursery rhyme oeuf
needing someone to stop the flood
pick up the fragments make me whole
if I stay i will wither and die
like all the flowers in my winter garden
retrieve me from this hell of lost and found

VI
worship unconditionally
I open my mouth and starlight pours forth
emptying my soul yet filling it reminding me
encouraging me like bright stars in the night
like lady moon guiding
I am worthy of knights and faery kings
worthy to rule
worthy to worship
I shed the darkness like a robe
put on the golden light of love

Again off the beaten path (How Long?)

Seconds between breaths
Minutes between thoughts
Hours between dreams
Days between words
Weeks between glances
Months between vexations
Years between devotions
Decades between lives
Waiting, spinning in endless
Rotations and eddies
Years minutes
Hours weeks
Days months
Decades seconds
How long till
Home?

Off the beaten path (review of Her Fearful Symmetry)

I was afraid to read this book, I didn't know if she would be able to duplicate for me what she did in Time Travelers Wife, so it took me a while to get to reading this. I really liked this book I know I only gave it three stars but it isn't because of her writing (which is excellent) I just felt really sad at the end of the book. I felt the same way at the end of TTW too, but here I just felt so much remorse for Robert's story and how that ended for him. Trapped in a situation he had no idea how to deal with or handle emotionally all because of the choices of others. 

The story was beautifully written and woven together. The characters were different, likable and sometimes not likable, the situations interesting and difficult to determine the correct course of action, it was in all a fantastic book. I loved Martin's story I'm so happy he got out of the house. I felt Valentina's pain at never having her own identity but wished she had taken another course. But we all make decisions in life that lead us on paths we wished we had never been on in the first place. I wanted so much for Julia to stop being selfish and realize that she needed to be her own person and that she needed to let Valentina go. The fact that she was able to finally do that at the end proves that Valentina did not need to go to such lengths to escape what she felt was a life that was holding her back and trapping her. 

Now I loved Robert, I think I would have had a crush on him too. I wanted so much for his story to go well. I wanted him to remember Elsbeth and go on with Valentina. He just seemed so broken by the end and having him just disappear off into nowhere just seemed so incredibly sad. He was probably the one character I really wished happiness for and he doesn't seem to get it. Again this is the fate we all dread and hope we never have to deal with. Not everyone gets what they wish for and sometimes our lives take on such different tacts than we thought they were going to that it's difficult to deal with, especially if those changes in direction are caused by someone else, especially someone that we love. Sometimes we are never able to get back to where we wanted to go in the first place because of it. 

The one thing I didn't like was the switching that Elsbeth and Edie did, I found it slightly confusing and really didn't think it added anything to the story except as another example of how we can hurt those around us when we are young and unthinking, of how we can get ourselves into situations that we don't know how to get out of. But I do think the story would have been just as strong without it.

Misery and Chocolate

Caleb "Are we out of Misery yet?"  He meant Missouri.  Which he didn't really like apparently.  lol  Of course he got in huge trouble when he almost got hit by a car so maybe that is why.  :P

We are having a conversation about hot chocolate in the car on our way to NY

"OH you can put peppermint in Hot chocolate"- me
"marshmellows" - Max
"chicken" -Caleb

ummm chocolate chicken...blech although maybe that lady from the movie Chocolat could make it into something delicious. hehe

Bones

me- "Why are you so boney?"
Caleb-"Because I have bones on the inside."

Like duh mom what did you think the reason would be...i'm not the million dollar man :P

Hurricane Caleb

After a week of mayhem and destruction left in the path of Hurricane Caleb (poop, puke, paint and predigested oatmeal on the carpet over the course of 1 week) the final straw was Josh busting in the door and ripping the chain from the wall.  Now all of this might not be so bad if I wasn't trying to sell the house and keep it looking nice for all those people who are looking...but not actually buying dangit!!  After chewing Josh out pretty badly, Josh moped for a little bit and then cleaned the whole house.  He came up to me after and said, "Do you know why I cleaned the whole house?  Because I wanted to show you that I was not single handedly trying to destroy the house!"  LOL yes Josh you got me.  I love you to bits :D

Calebisms

singing in the car today..."A, B, C, D, E, F, G...now i know my abc's won't you...wait that's not right...1, 2, 3, DOH!"

eating pizza dinner with his mouth in his plate taking huge bites and not using his hands
Max "Caleb stop eating like a pig!"
Caleb "I'm not eating like a pig...I'm eating like a giant!"

"What the....."  this phrase constantly comes out of his mouth

"Mommy you need to stop playing that game and do your french homework right now!"

Max the cleaning machine

Given the right incentive, I've created a monster.  I didn't have any idea that Max was built to clean, I just had to find what motivates him...Game time.  So with the purchase of a PS3 new rules were instituted.  If they do their chores with out being asked, did extra chores and generally helped around the house they earned time for the game systems. If they have to be asked to do their chores or fail to do them at all they get reduced time or no time at all.  Well Max takes to this like a fish to water and has in the past week turned into the biggest helper I have.  He has earned over 8 hours and it's not even the end of the week.  :D  Wish I had thought of this earlier.